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Hi!
I'm not keen on update my age every year
so please count yourself
I'm 1997 kid, est. from Aug
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follow Ein
More and more heartless
// 30.6.15 / 7:13 AM //

I was feeling blue and I decided to write this one mediocre poem after I stopped by one of Wira Nagara' post, even I'd left a comment said: Aku baper jadinya ðŸ˜­ðŸ˜­ðŸ˜­

Voilá! The next minute I wanted to write something so here it is. 

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Kadang, kita menatap jauh ke depan dan lupa dimana pijakan kaki 
Kadang, semua abu-abu tapi kita mengharapkan hitam dan putih 
Kadang, buaian angin membawa deru namun kita ingin sepi 
Kadang, kita hanya ingin prediksi sesuatu yang pasti

Ya, melihat kau tersenyum adalah hidup 
Bukan karena dia tapi karena aku 
Serta beribu alasan, aku ingin berada di dekatmu 
Namun sekarang aku jatuh dalam jurang dan jenuh 

Karenamu, segalanya 
Kutuangi kertas dengan titik-titik abstrak 
Namun mereka tidak sempat menyatu dan sirna 
Tidak sempat menjadi garis kemudian menjadi gambar 
Yang awalnya akan aku anggap sebagai dasar dalam harapan 
Yang akan menjadi kerangka untuk mengarungi angan 

Namun tetapi,
Aku lelah mendapati langkah ini memikul hati yang lupa membawa kasih
Aku letih mencari arah dan semua upaya terkesan nihil 
Alangkah baiknya jika semua dikubur lebih dini 
Sehingga harapan tidak perlu menjadi mimpi 

Karenamu, segalanya 
Rasanya ingin aku berteriak 
Karena amarah tidak mampu melepas dahaga yang kau cipta 
Sebagaimana aku mencari cara untuk menyembunyikan lara 
Dalam kita yang tidak pernah ada 

Pada akhirnya,
Aku hanya ingin melihat masa depan 
Dalamnya aku berjalan tanpa harus menoleh ke belakang 
Meninggalkan kesenangan semu yang ternyata menghantam hati 
Terus begitu karena aku ingin kau iri dan mati 
Dalam benak dan hati 
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A joke that is not funny
// 2.6.15 / 12:11 AM //

I have not been in relationship before since seventeen years ago (no, I don't need any pity, lol) but I know very well about how it turned out.

Being wholly open to someone and put all of your faith to a person is just another ingredient how to love. Love is blind and so is life. Life is a dark way and we need to find a hint by ourselves so we can go through unblinded. Being in love to someone is one of those million option of hint on the way and obvious a joy, which can light up the dark path.

oh God. Why do I talk about this after all??????

I never been in love to someone intensely. I mean, I am easily attracted someone but not in the romantic way. It's rather that I attracted to his face, his personality or what he can do. I ended up admired every person that I like. Cause, ugh, please, guys? I don't understand guys. I ever close with someone and he did claim that we are close (in this case I'm not ge-er whatsoever). Our conversation just so flat but I can't ended our talk. It endless stupid and going nowhere. I'm just right here, replying every text and there he is; talking to me and in a relationship. I did ask him to just cut out every possible way for us to talk but he said to me that I was immature. I hate him for sure since then. No, it's not about what he said to me. I just didn't like that he has no respect for women feeling, whether it's his girlfriend or mine. I think that's the worst cause he didn't think a single thought.

So, guys, just respect women feeling. It is worth it and you will know by time how worth it is.


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